Anger and eating management

I used to be angry
I was angry at my job.
I was angry at distracted drivers.
I was angry with myself.

What Changed?
A Friend of mine kept saying, "It is what it is". I was even angry at that. I had her explain this statement to me. In her wisdom my friend Julie told me that I can only change me and my reaction, I had no choice in the rules of corporate life. It is what it is. I had to think about this as I am a little slow at times.

Her wisdom hits home
Once I discovered the meaning of this little gem of wisdom I finally did have some choices. I could play the game within the rules, I could bend the rules of the game to suit me, or I could quit this game and start another. That in itself was a big revelation. Thank the creator for Julie!

Who or what was I angry with?
Once I pondered this I discovered I was most angry with myself. How could I have wasted all my energies at something I could not bend enough to suit me. I wasn't strong enough to bend or break the circumstance I was in at the time.

The worst thing was I blamed myself.
Fool that I was, I had one pity party after another. Why couldn't I make a difference? Why wasn't I strong enough to make things change? Why is this happening to me?

See the picture?
Well it took Julie's little piece of wisdom and more than a few months of pondering to figure it out. In her five word truism, I wasn't seeing things the way things as they were. Like it or lump it. Take it or leave it, Work within the system. Fit in or f... off.

As slow as I am I took my time
In my position as Human Resources in a company that had declared reorganization bankruptcy I saw as they systematically went down the salaries one at a time and got rid of workers. Finally, I knew I was next - I recognized the pattern.

Relief to be retrenched
I was called into the General Managers office and was asked did I Know the only reason I was around was that the previous General Manager protected me. Stupid me. I thought the only reason I was around was I did my job and did the job of three others that they had got rid of. I was offered a part time position only guaranteed ten hours a week, two hours a day and would have to work five day.

WTF! moment
You mean I could keep this miserable job, do the same amount of work of four people, in ten hours a week, commuting fifty miles a day in horrible traffic - and take a pay cut since I'm will no longer be full-time and have to give up the benefits that I pay 100 percent of.

Anger and relief moment
At that pitiful offer I had to say "I'm sorry, but your offer doesn't interest me find some one else." The satisfaction was not more than a month later that General Manager was faced with the exact same worthless offer of continued employment - which he took! My reaction was swift I went to work with a temporary employment agency. I got to test many new types of jobs which utilized my existing qualifications. Joy of joy I got to go to work if I wanted, and get paid three times more. I found out that I am worth much more than X amount an hour doing Human resources at a retail location.

How is this management?
Well as many men: I do identify myself with my position. If I'm not working I have no identity or worth - hence I am lost and worthless.

How does this relate to my weight?
Julie's "It is what it is" realization: The past is the past It cannot be changed. I can dwell, stew, and cry all I want - it still happened. Once I embraced this thinking I was able to put things into a new perspective and live in the here and now. Sure I'm going to revert back in thought - as I am doing in this blog exercise - but I need to recognize
It happened once (to me)
I cannot change the past
I dealt with it a the time the only way I knew with the knowledge I had

It was what it was and no amount of anger with my reaction at the time can change it.

If only I knew a person as wise as Julie years ago I could have saved a lifetime of Anger.


Yes I was angry. Mostly at myself. I had higher standards and had sold myself cheap. I had beaten myself up time and again.